Three Ways to Help Anxiety in Children

This post contains affiliate links.Anxiety in children has become a popular topic for parents and schools lately - especially with a wonderful new focus for many schools on social emotional learning. I've learned about children's anxiety as a student in grad school, as a teacher, and from Googling as a worried parent, but none of these things really prepared me to deal with debilitating panic attacks in my own six year old daughter.Jessa's panic attacks started fairly suddenly. They start because of seemingly no reason at all or due to what sounds like a completely irrational fear.This is what they look and sound like:- terrified eyes- repeatedly saying, "I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared."- flapping hands and kicking feet- panting, shaky breath- panicky cryingObviously, this is something that no one wants to experience or see someone experience - especially when it's your own young and helpless child.People often throw around the phrase "panic attack" or "anxiety attack" but these are significant experiences for all involved. I've seen fully grown adults go to the emergency room when experiencing one fully believing they are having a heart attack. And I've experienced it myself which ironically has been a fairly new thing for me over the past couple of years. It is frighteningly physical as an experience, and I would like to do everything I can to both lessen my daughter's anxiety and eventually give her a tool box of ways to help herself during these experiences.Here are three ways that we have found to cope with anxiety attacks in children:

1. Be ready at all times with a stress relief routine - especially when you least expect it.

No matter how tuned in I feel I am to my daughter, her panic attacks always catch me by surprise. There are several natural and gentle products that can help in a pinch, though there is no quick fix in my experience. We have been giving Jessa the suggested children's dose of Hyland's Nerve Tonic which helps with stress relief. The homeopathic approach helps the body gradually develop the response to do the same thing as the tablets do on its own. They are simple to administer even in a panicking child as they quickly dissolve right beneath the tongue. In addition to the daily dose, I follow the instructions for the intensive dose at the start of any sign of anxiety.Another popular natural approach is Bach Kids Rescue Remedy which is also easy to administer as pleasant tasting liquid in a dropper. This approach is helpful because it is now something that Jessa recognizes as part of a routine response to her anxiety. Routines, in general, are always helpful offering familiarity and comfort on a basic level.

2. Stay as calm as possible and keep it simple.

It will most likely be your instinct, as it was mine, to try to logic with your child at the onset of an anxiety attack, but it is not only useless, it is not helpful. Attempting to explain away your child's fear does not work. Your little one is fully in her body when having this experience, not in her head. No matter how bright and mature your child is, she will not be able to truly hear you.I usually repeat one phrase over and over in a calm and steady voice - an example being "You are safe, and I love you." This is not the time to get into a discussion about what is and isn't possible. Picking up my daughter so she can physically feel safe - which can be a daunting task when she is flailing wildly - and taking her to a different environment or space if possible can begin to provide some comfort.

3. Give your child a very simple task to complete.

When we are lucky enough to be at home during one of Jessa's panic attacks, there is one thing that always works without fail for her. I pickup one of our cats, who fortunately is the kind of sweet pet who enjoys being cuddled and begins purring almost the second she is touched, and place her in my daughter's arms. I keep my arms there too since Jessa is shaky and not fully in control of her body and to keep our cat safe as well, but the act of having to still her body for something else really helps.Take the time to think about what might be a precious object (or pet in our case) that your child can hold for comfort and focus on outside of her own body. This may take come trial and error, but it is more than worth it once you come upon it. When something can be part of your comfort routine AND take your child's focus out of her own body and on to something else, it will become an important tool for you.To all of the parents who have experienced the heartbreaking and helpless feeling of watching your child have an anxiety attack, my heart goes out to you. I know how hard it is. Starting with small and manageable steps can make a difference though. I hope these tips help, and I would love to hear what helps your child when experiencing anxiety in the comments below.For further resources on dealing with anxiety in children with specific triggers, check out the following articles:- Helping an Anxious Child (school related)- Pre-Test Stress- What to Do When Your Child Has Separation Anxiety